Frustrated

With not a lot going on in my life, I guess I also haven't had much of a reason to say anything. Not that there's anything actually new going on, just feeling frustrated tonight. I really don't know what brought on the feeling, just sitting staring at the bloody computer screen and watching TV, all totally normal. But just feeling frustrated at what my life is, and that I still can't manage to even imagine it as anything more. Maybe I've just doomed myself to nothingness, cause that's all I can manage to see.

I look at pictures of other people and they all look so happy with their lives. I mean everyone has trying times, many more than mine. But they come back up, things get better. But it kind of seems like just a big straight line is what I amount to, a straight line going nowhere. I wonder how it is other people get where they get to. And often times it doesn't seem like they've done anything special, just gotten lucky. Right time, right place kind of moments made them what they are. But it seems I miss all the moments. I just don't know what to do... I don't know how to get what I want... it seems so futile. I know what I'd like... but it just seems so fucking impossible to get, that maybe I've given up already.