Little More Than Expected

Well, so I was expecting today to call my friend and go over to her house and watch some more of The OC, and then Farscape when her husband came home. And when I called her I got more than I expected. She very cheerfully asked me to 'guess who was coming'. *L* Well, her brothers are apparently bumming around in town at her house till Thursday night. So, well, we had like an hour and a half or so maybe before her brothers turned up, and wonderland guy and I got a little cozy again. T'was fun... even got a little bit of a kiss out of it at the end of the night. *LOL* So, yeah I may be hanging out there again tomorrow...

On another note, I exchanged some greetings on myspace with an old casual friend from high school who after some very interesting things is in town again, and he asked if I'd like to hang out some time. So, I'm excited about that maybe happening, I haven't seen him since high school (that's 8 years now), but he was always a really cool, funny dude, who was always fun to have classes with. He was one of those sorts of people who had a tendancy to just make class time more interesting, so it would be really cool to grab coffee or something to eat with him sometime soon and just catch up on the last 8 years. :)

Last week was kinda lame (at least from like Thursday on), and so far, this week is looking to be a little bit more interesting and fun, so that's good.

Yet another one of those survey thingys

This one was stolen from Kris' LJ... :)

(Hey Kris! Haven't seen you around much, but I hope the arm is doing better.)


THE FACTS
Name: Meg
Age: 26
Birthday: June 1979
Birth Day: Not sure what day of the week it was
Birth Place: California

OPINIONS (off hand thinking in the wee AM hours)
Most Talented Actor: Robert Downey Jr.
Best Looking Actor: Sean Bean
Most Undervalued Actor: Sean Bean (All america can seem to hire him for is bad guys, and he's capable of so much more)
Most Talented Actress: Natalie Portman
Best Looking Actress: Katherine Heigl
Most Undervalued Actress: Don't know...
Best Director: Joss Whedon
Best Writer: if movies and TV probably same as above, if we're talking books too... Francesca Lia Block

FAVORITES
Color: Blue & Black
Number: 10
Artist: like musical? or what? musical I'll say Michelle Branch off hand
Band: The Calling
Movie: Home For the Holidays (it's a movie I've seen a zillion times and could watch a zillion more... and there's some WONDERFUL actors in it, including the late Anne Bancroft who is wonderful.)
Book: I was a Teenage Fairy
TV Show: oh, there are so many... "Lost" rocks something fierce though...

SHOCKER....(what No one Knows!)
Artist You Like: don't know... lots :P
Band You Like: Papa Roach (cause I probably don't look like I listen to that hard a music much...)
Actor You Like: Don't know who that no one would know???
Actress You Like: I loved the late Anne Bancroft, she was a wonderful, funny actress and I was sad when I learned she'd died.
Movie You Like: Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen Movies :)
TV Show You Like: The OC (not that plenty of people don't love it... and not sure that it's really all that shocking that I like it... but whatever...)

Of the moment...
Quote: "Shit dude..." (what the hell else am I supposed to have on my mind at 6am? I'm going to bed, will finish this survey later... *L*)
Crazy Song: don't know....
Male Name: Nathan
Female Name: Isabelle
Celebrity Crush Male: Sean Bean, Karl Urban, there are just so many...
Celebrity Crush Female: Katherine Heigl... she's just fucking beautiful... I'm definatly more into guys, but I would not be opposed to kissing that girl, or looking like her, she's beautiful...

THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD
3 Friends: Andrea, Apryl, Holly
Ex-Crush: Drew
3 Movies: Legally Blonde, Blue Crush (I think cause we were talking about crushes *L*), The Ref
3 Brands: Kraft, Guess, Mead
Fast Food: Wendys
3 Days: Tuesday, Thursday, Friday
3 Cancelled Shows: Point Pleasant, Tru Calling, Roswell

GIVE UP!
If you could tell one person anything who and what would it be? I don't know...
One thing you think was "stolen" from you and by who... of course.: Um... I don't know...
Five People You're Glad You Had This Year and Why: I don't think I can pick just five... I think just about everyone I knew and saw this year and had any interaction beyond 'hello' with had some kind of impact on me...

Rambling... it's the one thing I'm good at...

Well, my mood has definatly crashed again... started a couple days ago, and has just kind of floated in this funk. Didn't help that today the sun was like no where to be seen... not that I even stepped outside my front door... nor yesterday... haven't been out of my PJs since like before noon on Thursday, except to take a couple showers and get into clean PJs. Made myself a new mix CD of a lot of those songs where I really like one or two on an album, and don't really listen to the rest of the CD much... mostly... been listening to it for a few hours now... just repeating...

I was supposed to go out tonight and go see a band at this club that I haven't been to see since last summer, and it was gonna be really cool cause my birthday was this week... so it was going to be almost like getting to do something fun around my birthday, which I haven't done in some time... but, well, apparently it was not to be... my friend got sick... I made a desperate attempt to phone a couple other friends in hopes of doing something, anything fun tonight,... but that was not to be either it would seem... since it's now after 1:30 am, and the night is pretty much over now... oh well, I suppose... that's just how it is... my birthday just isn't something to be celebrated anymore anyway... so it's probably for the best...

So, I've spent the day on and off sleeping, feeling depressed, and occationally letting slip a few tears... actually that's how I've spent the last 3 days... and probably what I'll be doing for the next two days also... Tuesday maybe I'll get out to my internship, just to break the cycle... spend a few hours behind the computer at school, cutting up video clips, and prepping them for being burned to DVDs... that's about the highlight of my life right now... the notion of going down to the school to do that... it means there's a chance I'll bump into other people who aren't my family, and perhaps by then the sun will return also... I don't know what's with these grey days, but they are really getting to me...

One of the saddest songs I think I've ever heard just started playing... even in a good mood it makes me want to cry... Sarah McLachlan's "Full of Grace"... perhaps the feeling is helped by the scene it played over in the season two closer of Buffy, but it's just so sad...

Thinking...

So tonight is a odd one, I started off by trying to have myself a little Harry Potter movie marathon when I flipped a channel and caught part of one on TV and then popped in the DVDs. I wound up sleeping through most of one and two though, and woke to watch three around 12:30 am and have also been online since. Now I'm actually sitting with my TV off for once, with music playing. Ingram Hill, I love this CD... but there is a definate longing to some of these songs... it's put my mind in an odd state. Although it was a place it was already headed anyway... I could tell this evening when at like 5pm I looked outside at the blue sky and sun, after days of grey and had the need to just go walk down to the book store for the sake of going outside. I have to admit, the grey of the last few days really got to me in an odd way. It also makes me really start to wonder how long I'll really be able to last in Portland. I don't mind some rain, and clouds.... but I do have a tendancy toward come March, if there isn't enough sun, I start to get depressed. And that joke from a Lou Black stand up starts to sound like a good idea.... then on the greyest day ever you think maybe you should cut your wrists just to see color... Now, I'm not in that state of mind right now... but I know I get that way sometimes... and while I do actually like it in November when the skys start to turn grey here in Northern California and the rain starts to fall... by Feburary I've generally had all I can take of the cold and the rain and the grey... and I'm ready for some sun, and the kind of sun that actually warms you up, not just the kind of sun that means it's going to be even colder than if it was raining buckets...

I just kinda started thinking while listening to the music and I guess feeling like as it always seems to go with me, things never will happen how I wanted them to... and the best I can really hope to get in reality is for things to just happen in a manner in which I can deal with them... I'm trying to find a quote or song, something to use for another entry on my LJ, but just can't seem to focus on anything... song to song, I get a feeling, but nothing I can seem to put into words, which is what sort of lead me here.

I've neglected so much online lately in an attempt to some how live a little, but the trouble sometimes with getting out a little, is that when I then end up cooped up in the house all day again I get restless to a point where I can't function how I normally would. From the time I got up till after my Harry Potter nap all I ate today was a mini ice cream sandwich, as small bowl of mac and cheese (cause I didn't have to make it), a cookie, and some blueberries... it wasn't very much food for what I normally will eat in a day... but it was one of those days where everytime I went into the kitchen and thought about eating, it kind of made me feel sick... I hate when the idea of food makes me feel sick...

I'm also thinking about Saturday too much and it's confusing me and fucking with my head... but then it seems like guys have tendancy to do that. Why is that... why is it that anything having to do with guys has to fuck my mind over like nothing else... it's really bloody obnoxious...

So, I know I'm all over the place with this entry, but, well.... fuck.... this is my journal, and I'll fuckin' ramble if I damn well please... HA!.... anyway... so I am turning 26 later this week... and thus my age offically will show I am closer to 30 than to 20 now... how weird is that... pretty weird if you ask me... I'm not really stressing on it or anything.... I just think it's a strange, strange thing... well, I'm not sure what else to say now... thinking I should try and sleep some more again...

Seeking Socialization...

So, it seems I'm in one of those desperately seeking socializing phases. I'm like really trying/hopeing to get something that resembles a social life. Saw wonderland guy again today, but we didn't get any alone time. So he was apparently 'behaving' himself so as not to get in trouble with me. *LOL* I told him I'd let him know if he was in trouble. But now, I'm not sure when I'm seeing him again... and well, I didn't really get to do the things today I'd hoped to do. Including particually getting to actually have a real conversation as opposed to just casual chat... may have to call my friend tomorrow and see if there's any chances before the 4th of July to get her brother up again, and if not, to get the word out on the 4th at least... cause that guy is in my head now, and I want to do something about it *L*.

Anyway... switching gears... Unfortunatly missed saying goodbye to a casual friend who left for home today. Hopefully will still get to speak to him online though, cause he's a really cool person. :) And if he reads this, I hope he knows I am talking about him. Cause well, he is really cool and I had a lot of fun hanging out and talking with him.

Tomorrow is father's day, so I'll probably make the standard call and leave message on my father's machine. It's what I do every year on his birthday and father's day.

I'm so itching for socializing... and well, a little time with guys... that I'm contemplating calling up this guy I almost went to the movies with, if it weren't for his being a lame ass... and saying 'so when do I get that movie you owe me?' *LOL* But it's been over a month or maybe nearly two now since then, and I'm thinking it's too late and it'd be lame to even bother... I'm just bored, and looking for some fun... *LOL*

Had to know it would come down...

...the good mood I mean...

And it did. My mom is in some ultra irritable funk lately, maybe it's her really plowing into menopause or something, but it's really not good for my stability either. I all but cried myself to sleep last night after she laid into me about how long my showers are. I'm really just hating being at home in my house a lot lately. She has this way of bitching about things that somehow makes me feel like it's somehow all my fault. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do to fix it all and make everything better. But in anycase, she managed to single handedly in less than 24 hours make me feel like a worthless piece of shit. Just when I was starting to feel a little bit good about myself of course. But then I guess I should have known better than to go feeling good about myself... that never works out...

Crazy Week

So, I've had just the most insane week, but it's been really cool. I think I mentioned my post graduation party weekend, which didn't end till monday evening *L*. Then Tuesday I found out that my friends found out they were moving, and so I went over, and have been over everyday since helping them move and such. Wednesday and Thursday two of her brothers (one is the brother mentioned in one of my VERY old journal entries from my old geocities journal). It was an interesting couple days. No idea what's gonna happen now, but it was certainly good for the ego. *LOL* Seeing as it's been like 4 years since the last time, and he still lives kinda far enough away, not sure when I'll see him again. Also, well, there wasn't a whole lot of conversation, and well, that's all well and good *L*... but I like to talk with someone also. Conversation is good, it's more than good, it makes for the building of friendships, which is probably one of the most important things in my book.

But anyway, yeah, so wild, crazy week... but I have really enjoied spending so much time with my friends. It seems like it's been forever, since I hardly saw her and her husband all semester cause we were all so bloody busy. And even though we've been working hard getting them moved and settled so fast, it's been nice to see them.