Post Week from Hell

Well, week from hell is over. Not to say I'm done, I still have shitloads of editing to do for two classes, a take home exam and a short presentation, but I hope the worst is over. Tonight I'm going to see The Calling!!! I'm so excited, I can't believe I actually got the tickets from that radio call in. I didn't think I'd get through. Really not sure how I did on that stupid writing exam saturday, but hopefully I won't have to take it again in Feb, but I'm not banking on it. It just seems so lame to have to do.

Have recently been in a fanfic/fanart mode with the chats. Mostly been just feeling the need to write or create something. This semester have been a little stagnent in terms of creativity.

And so comes the week from HELL

So like everything is due this week, well not everything, but a lot is due this week, plus this week is scheduleing for next semester as well as that dumb ass exam I have to pass in order to graduate... freaking like 2 or 3 hour writing exam that I have to take at fucking 8:30 in the morning on Saturday. Got two presentations, a group paper, and a rough cut of my documentary due this week... and I need to find an internship, like, soon...

And what exactly am I doing this Sunday night before this week from hell, I'm online searching for pictures, just for fun. Because I can't manage to do anything unless it's due tomorrow... even when it's due in two days...

I just hope I still have my sanity at the end of the week...

Bleh...

It's 3am and I'm just kinda out of it now... not like bad out of it, although apparently mirc had it out for my chat groups tonight :p...

Got an email back from my Media Law teacher on the short essay I had to do from being in the jury of the Mock trial we did in class this week, he gave me an 'A' and said my paper was insightful, and well written, so that made me happy. Got so much stuff still to do in the next 3 weeks for classes... it's crazy... and now my brain's on auto pilot for the night... hence the out of it ness that's set in. My mom seems to be getting a cold, so think I will head off to bed shortly and sleep, so as to try and keep from catching anything. Last thing I need is to get sick during these last few weeks of classes before Winter break.

Gotta call it winter break, since we're not doing x-mas anymore... there's really no reason to, it's a religious holiday for a religion we don't believe in... so... best thing about x-mas is the lights anyway, I can do without all the rest of the bullshit that comes along with the holidays.

Another Survey thingy

1. What's your full name?
Meg (what, you don't believe that's my full name? *heh*)

2.What pants are you wearing?
Black track suit style pants

3. What are you listening to right now?
Garfield the movie

4. What are the last four digits of your phone number?
Um... I forgot?? (what? it could happen, how often does anyone really call their own home anyway?) :P

5. What was the last thing you ate?
Um... dried cranberries

6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Blue, probably specifically like a midnight blue, I'm a very blue kind of person

7. Where do you plan to go/or did you go on your honeymoon?
Not really planning on marrying, ever, so therefore no honeymoon, but I wouldn't mind a vacation for no reason to Hawaii.

8. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Uhhh.... not sure, probably some dumb ass sales recording that I hung up on. But last person I recall actually speaking to, probably my friend Andrea, she's the only person who ever calls me really, or who I call for that matter. My friend Apryl now lives too far away for frequent phone calling.

9. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Probably face and then body...

10. Do you like the person that sent you this?
Yes, got it in an email, actually some months ago from the afore mentioned far away friend Apryl. Email is easier & cheeper then the phone now, what with her in England and me in California.

11. what is your favoutrite drink?
Orange Juice

12. Favourite alcoholic drink?
Not much of a drinker, can't really seem to aquire a taste for alcohol.

13. Favourite sport to play?
I did gymnastics as a kid which was tons of fun, but haven't done that for ages now. So not really doing any sports anymore, trying to get active again though by taking a yoga class.

14. Favourite sport to watch?
American Football, no question... but I like a lot of sports, basketball, Olympics, etc...

15. What's the next CD you're going to get?
Not sure, but I think I heard there's a new Vanessa Carlton CD coming out soon.

16. Did you ever wear braces?
No, an orthodontist told me I needed them about 7 years ago, but I was already in college then, and like hell I was gonna get them then. Plus they cost a bloody fortune, that I don't have, and I didn't think my teeth looked that fucked up, I think the guy was just trying to make a buck off my teeth.

Question 17 is apparently missing from the survey sent to me by my friend.

18. Siblings and their ages:
Brother, 20

19. Favourite food :
maybe pizza, with mushrooms and extra pineapple

20. Last movie you watched?
Watching Garfield the movie now... kinda cute, but only half paying attention.

21. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Are you kidding me? I'm too fucking shy to even say hi to a classmate, like I could ever ask anyone out.

22. Favourite place to go on a date?
I don't date

23. Do you like scary or happy movies better?
Eh, whatever... I watch a lot of movies, depends on my mood

24. Summer or winter?
I think I still say summer, but not as adamently as I used to... all the seasons have their place and good points.

25. Hugs or kisses?
Um, I'm just gonna assume we're talking about those chocolate things Hershey's makes, in which case, I like the original pure milk chocolate Kisses

26. Relationship or one night stands?
Neither... and no, I won't elaborate on that ...

27. Chocolate or vanilla?
Vanilla I guess... but Strawberry is even better

28. Who is most likely to respond?
Well, seeing as this isn't an email anymore, and I'm not sending it to anyone, and even if it where, I'm sure I'm the one on the end of the chain (ie no one to respond as the only person to send it to is the person who sent it to me)... so, no one...

29. Who is least likely to respond?
Not relivant, see above

30. What books are you reading?
There's a few of them... I have odd reading habits...

31. What's on your mouse pad?
It's not actually a mouse pad, it's an old day planner from 2002-2003 with a turtle on the cover.

32. Favourite magazine?
Probably Maxim, it's funnier then those chick magazines that are always about how to make yourself over

33. Favourite garden smell?
I don't know, I don't really go around smelling gardens...

34. Least favourite smell?
either that kind of bad BO that fills a whole room, or that kind of obsene perfume that fills up a room...

35. Worst feeling in the world?
loneliness

36. How many rings before you answer the door?
as many as possible... I generally hope if I just wait it out, they'll go the fuck away. I think I need to get a sign that indicates that if you don't know the occupants personally, or are delivering mail, you should piss off.

37. Future children's names?
Well, not really thinking I'll be having any kids... not sure I won't change my own name some day, but to go through all those names here would be too much...

38. Glass half empty or half full?
usually half empty... occationally I get a half full day... but right now, I'm having an almost empty kind of month, so...

39. Favourite movie(s)?
There's just too many to get into right now...

40. What's under your bed?
Storage bins, with magazines, and other random shit that I won't get rid of...

41. What is your favourite number?
10

42. One nice thing about the person that sent this:
Apryl, well, she's like my best friend. She's nice, fun, smart, cool to hang out with and talk with.

43. Favourite current TV shows?
Um... Lost is pretty cool. I also make a point of watching Gilmore Girls & Boston Legal.

Bitchy

I don't know, I've felt kind of bitchy and on edge all day today. Maybe it's PMS or something, I don't know. I thought I might cry for a minute in Yoga class today, and then like everyone on the road just annoyed me today. :p

Anyway, my research group has to totally realign our survey, as I expected, however not as expected, we're basically changing our hypothesis again. Which means I need to get the survey revamped and email it to her so she can check it, and then perhaps email it to my group also, so they all know what's going on.

I think it's just one of those days where you feel like your head's gonna explode if you think about anything longer then 2 minutes.

Survey Time

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Depends on the day, Monday, Wed, and Fri I'm up by like 8 for class and errands and such. Tues & Thurs it's like 11. Sat and Sun, it's varied.
2. IF YOU COULD HAVE LUNCH WITH ANYONE WHO WOULD IT BE? Hmm, maybe Joss Whedon, it'd be cool to ask him about his shows and chat, and maybe learn something from him.
3. GOLD OR SILVER? Silver
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? Alien vs Predator *LOL* it was fun and all, but no need to ever see it again ...
5. FAVORITE TV SHOW? lots that aren't on anymore, but currently running new eps, that's hard actually... Does Monday Night Football count?
6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? varies by day, sometimes cereal, sometimes a smoothie if I'm at school, or a cider and a bagel if it's cold... sometimes nothing...
7. WHO WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH? hmm, don't know... no one particular, but there are several types of people who would annoy me real fast.
8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? nope... not one of my odd talents
9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? random things, sometimes it's a song, or a film, or just something I pass by while going about my day... oddly I often get good ideas while washing my hair...
10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Hope... I hope... *L*
11. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY? probably the Beach
12. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, but winter has it's nice points too
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Ben & Jerry's Mint cookie
14. BUTTERED, SALTED, OR PLAIN POPCORN? Buttered & Salted, although I've taken a real liking to that sweet & salty kettle corn.
15. FAVORITE COLOR? blue & black
16. FAVORITE CAR? the classic 1960's models of the Ford Mustang... although not sure I'd ever really want one, I'm kind of content with my little Honda civic... it's pretty cool too *L*
17. FAVORITE SANDWICH? any really good deli style turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomator, mustard, mayo, and on really good french or sour dough bread roll bread.
18. TRUE LOVE? um, no, don't think so... at least not for me...
19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE? arrogance, stupidity, dishonesty
20. FAVORITE FLOWER? California poppy
21. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY? put a bunch away, fix the house so it's not about to fall apart, and so we could either rent it when we move or sell it for decent money and buy a nice place near Seattle or Portland... but I'd probably put most of it in the bank, give some to mom, pay back for all that college tuition she's been paying for.
22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK? No fizzy, I don't do fizzy... don't like fizzy...
23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM? White, with pink tiles, and a lot of water damage... we got the house over 15 years ago with pink tiles, and they are still there, even though we NEVER liked the pink tiles. *L*
24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 2
25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? hmm... Southern Cali, or Northern Cali, or maybe Hawaii :)
26. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES, HOW MANY? sort of, but haven't tried in quite a long time
27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Sunday... it's the mellow sleepy day, and in the fall, it's also Football day :)
28. RED OR WHITE WINE? Neither, not really a wine drinker, or anything alcohol drinker... just never could really aquire a taste for alcohol, and I've tried to...
29. WOULD YOU ATTEND A NUDE EVENT? No, not unless you consider my shower an event...
30. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? Nothing really, got depressed and made myself frosted brownies at like 2 am...
31. WHAT IS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ OR ARE CURRENTLY READING? Um, reading "Color of Magic" by Terry Pratchett & "On the Brightside, I'm now the Girlfriend of a Sex god" by Louise Rennison, & "Two Towers" Tolkien... and the last book I finished was "I was a Teenage Fairy" by Francesca Lia Block.

Boys on the Brain

I've had boys on the brain for the last several days now, and it's bloody annoying. Seriously, I can't keep my brain on anything for more then like 10 minutes without boys poping up. I'm on one of those like hormonal trips or something where like every guy gets like more attractive. It's highly destracting, makes normal daily functioning much more challenging. Especially since it's like midterms and this week is full of due dates for projects and exams.

On a totally other note, it's started raining out, like just tonight, like just did since the last time I looked outside. It's not currently raining, but the streets are all wet. And it was all grey and cloudy all day today, actually I guess it was yesterday, since it's like 4 am and all now. Could just tell the sky was waiting to start raining. Not a big suprise though, it was in the weather forecast.

Back to boys, there is of course a particular boy at the center of this madness, but it extends beyond to like every guy I walk past. All the guys in my classes are suddenly that much cuter. And I've now changed my computer wallpaper from a very cute but fully clothed black & white of Ian Thorpe, to one of him with no shirt and his underwear sticking out the top of his shorts. Looking all tan and buff from the Olympics. And cause I couldn't fit his whole torso the proper way, I've turned the photo on it's side so I can see him from waist to head... it's totally gratuitious, but oh so HOT!!!

Portland

So, I went to Portland this last weekend, cause my fam is thinking of moving there in like less then a year, that or Seattle, which I'm going to go check out over Thanksgiving. Portland was really pretty, we didn't do a lot other then drive around an look at the city, but it was fun.

I think it could be a nice, cool place to live. Although the thought of really leaving California is a little weird. I know California is over priced and has increasingly freaky weather... and is at times excessively hot even in the middle of Sept and Oct.... or February. *L* I guess it'll just be one of those things where you can take the girl out of California, but you can never take the California out of the girl.

Just Shut Up!

I really, really need to remember those three little words, they are important. Just shut up! It's usually not too much of a problem in classes, I don't really talk much, but it needs to extend to group projects for classes, outside class, even online. I usually end up saying something lame, or stupid, or just plain too much. The best solution, just shut up!

And if I must say something, say it here, because here, no one's really listening, or at least no one need listen. It's not like it's messanger, or even a message board. I mean I don't think anyone but me ever reads this thing, which is fine, not really sure why anyone else would be interested in reading my insane ramblings and idiotic thoughts. It's not like I have anything of real importance or interest to say, I'm just saying a bunch of useless shit. Which is fine so long as I'm just talking to myself, which I'm awful good at, and when I don't want to listen anymore, I just shut up.

Weird randomness...

Okay, had one of those weird and random sort of days, but good day. But now I have guys on the brain... and I have a 9am class tomorrow. I just know this is gonna keep me awake tonight. AHH! One of those feel like you gotta bounce or scream, or something moments... I'm having one of those moments today... madness... and tomorrow is my crazy day at school, where I'm like at school in classes or meetings, or group work projects like all day long.

I think it was hormones

Well, wound up leaving class today fustrated, pissy, and on the verge of tears. I think I was just having one of those hormonal days where I just can't take anything that isn't light and fun fair.

On a side note, I think I've, again, decided that the best way to deal with life, particularly group work in classes is to shut the hell up and do whatever the rest of the group wants. I just end up fustrated and unhappy when the group inevitably doesn't give a shit and doesn't listen or care about anything I put in as input, or even worse, make me feel stupid for even suggesting anything at all. Unfortunatly this semester is gonna be full of shitty ass group work. Oh well, at least I'm usually pretty good at staying quiet and doing what I'm told, assuming I don't burst into tears in the middle of it all.

Well, going to attempt to sleep, been getting shitty sleep the last week, and it's starting to drive me over the edge, I about cried last night cause I just couldn't sleep.

Drawing a Blank

I was thinking I should say something here, but now that I'm here, I haven't got a bloody clue what. I swear though this world gets more fucking terrifying every day. The world is just a mess, the whole fucking world, a bloody mess, like, seriously. Woke up this morning to find that during the wee hours of the morning some jackasses (probably dumbass drunk teenagers) drove down my block and smashed in windows etc of like half the cars down the street, including mine. Now sucks a little less for me, since I was planning on getting rid of the car anyway, and actually the smashed window was just the modavation to take it over to the used car lot and sell it now. But one of our neighbors had just bought a new car and now it's windows and such are all smashed in. I mean, that's just shitty. I mean there's not even any fucking point to what these idiots did, it was just like all down one side of the street, most likely one idiot driving and another hanging out the passanger window with some object to smash with. It's not like there was a rhyme or reason, just random acts of vandalism, I guess it is sort of better in a way then targeted vandalism, but it's just so pointless, like these idiots couldn't find something better to do, like drink themselves stupid till they passed out, or smoked some pot to mellow them out, or smash beer cans on their heads. Always trying to keep my mind off all that mess by playing RPGs and watching TV shows and sports and fun stuff, cause if I let myself dwell on all the fear and hate, and discontentment in and with the world, I'd probably have to slit my wrists immediately.

So, I continue to surf fun sites, downloading an interview on the Addidas site of Ian Thorpe, he's so cute, and massively talented in the water. Not to mention he seems like a real genuine guy, nice to see in celebs, and athletes, cause not all are: Case in point Terrell Owens. The San Fran 49ers roster has been totally desimated by salary cap issues, but Terrell was one worth losing from the roster, even if it takes the next 4 years for the 9ers to make playoffs again. Although I was bummed when they didn't sign Jeff Garcia again, not like he's the most perfected QB in the leauge, but he rocks! And well, fireing Steve Mariucci (I think I spelt that wrong :p) the year before, I still say that was the most spectacular streak of stupitity that ever hit the 49er management... with that in mind, Go Lions! *LOL* That'll showum'.

This week is free trial week for the PE classes, so I'm gonna try and get myself to some of them, cause I really do need to get active and try and lose a little weight, it's starting to get sad, I had to go buy pants the other day, cause I only had one pair of pants left that fit me comfortably. Also thinking about making use of the open swim hours at the pool at the school. I haven't been swimming in probably like 5 years, and I miss not swimming. I'm not that great at it, but I always had fun. And I need active things to do that are also fun, which is why I'm not good at just sitting and doing crunches or push ups while watching TV, it's not fun.

Dreams Left Behind

The Olympics always bring up those feelings of dreams not persued, or dreams left half way. I'm sure it's because of my own childhood dreams of Olympic greatness when I was like 7 and 8 and was a gymnast, and actually pretty good at that point. Actual potential and everything. But at 11, I'd already had to cut back on training due to my mom's work, and then burnt out a bit, intended to take just a few months off, but never wound up going back. There are times still that I regret never going back, not so much because I could have been an Olympic gymnast, but because it was a lot of fun, and a great way to stay in shape. Now, nearly 15 years later, I feel out of shape, and inactive. I'm planning on looking into using the rec center at my school, and possibly taking like a yoga or dance class or something to have something active to do.

And then I think of my more current dreams, dreams I hope aren't as far off achievment as my Olympic dreams as a child were. Dreams of getting into something, preferably not the nightly news, where I get to use and work around a video camera. Fiction TV or film would rock, but like sports coverage would be cool too. I'm thinking about possibly doing a documentary on this kind of topic for my class this semester, looking at the dreams, past and present of people, and the reasons for wanting what they do, and for having given up on old dreams.

hmmm...

Time to start Thinking

Gotta start thinking about projects and papers, got projects in just about every class that are going to be involved and consuming, and gotta come up with what to do for them, Soon. Sooner the better so I can at least try and get started early. Really am going to need to get a video cam ASAP. I think I can do something video related for my senior project, not sure if I could tie it to whatever I do for my video production class.

The Olympics are over, and it's sad, I miss them so much already. Been watching US Open all day just cause I need some kind of sports booster or something. Been online for little spurts rather often looking up pics and info on athletes and sports, especially those hot male swimmers. *LOL* I want to know where I can order me one of those guys *LOL*. Sometimes the hormones just take over. :p

Anyway, just talking... trying to do this more often... even if I don't feel like I really am saying that much...

School ... and other stuff

Okay, today was back to school, I missed who knows how much Olympic Coverage, but did get to interact in person with other human beings again. *LOL* Okay, I'm maybe not QUITE that big of a hermit, but close. It's not that big an exaggeration. Got books at least for the couple books for this class. Also got the new Vanity Fair mag I'd been thinking about with the pretty pic of Reese Witherspoon on the cover. Lots of cool pics of Olympians in it too... and I have to say, up till now Michael Phelps was a cute kid, but WOW, that pic of him in there was HOT! I can't believe how young he is though.... dude, I feel old. Still love Olympics, but damn those athletes make me feel old. So many of the athletes are younger then me. I expected that from women's gymnastics, but not everything else as well, from volleyball, to swimming, to track. And hell, for that matter 1/3 of the women's gymnastics team this year was actually older then me, more then 2000 even I think. I think in 2000 the only one older then me was Dominique Dawes. This year both Mohini Bhardwaj and Annia Hatch are older then I, granted by only a year, but still... (actually Mo is like 9 months older)... *L*

I now, after watching an inordinate amount of Olympic coverage, really want to go to like some big athletic event. I bet being at the games and going and seeing some of these things live and in person is just awsome. The only sporting events I've actually been to are my high school's football and basketball games (now years ago). Although the football was pretty cool, we went to division championship game held at the Okland Colosium (where the Okland Raiders & A's play) so that was pretty wow. And then like 8 or 9 years ago I went to a few AVP (Pro Beach Volleyball) tournaments in Southern Cali, but it's been a while, Mike Dodd was still playing back then, now he's announcing for the Indoor Volleyball at the Athens Games. Was cool though I still have pics of me with Mike Dodd, Mike Witmarsh (Dodd's partner when they won silver at Atlanta 1996) and a pic with Eric Fonoimoana. But again, that was years ago. Going to like some kind of Olympics or World Championships would rock, or going to another AVP tourny again would rock... (Beach Volleyball is a massively cool sport, the atmosphere is the best)... I also wouldn't mind catching an NBA or NFL game, but both those are so increadibly expencive to attend just one little game, and I don't think my mom would let me and my bro drive to Okland or South San Fran alone... which kind of leaves only Sacremento Kings, which is a little bit far to go, and still very pricey, although I'm sure it would be an amazing time. :p

Tired

It's 3am, I have another chat to do, and I'm tired. I really wish I could just go to bed right now. Been watching Olympics still... pretty much all I've been watching the last week. Now also seriously thinking about the fact that I go back to classes mid week. It's crazy... and annoying, cause I feel more tired now then I did at the start of the summer. But it'll be good to get back to classes and at least some minor interaction with other human beings not over the internet. Haven't had much of that over the summer.

Coolios!

Alright! Got me a new template layout, and gussed up my profile, and all that good stuff... Olympic coverage is on again, swimming right now. We'll see if I can remember to update this sucker any better then I have. I'd be cool if I could. :)

Okay, think I'll be off for the night now... want to pay attention to the Olympics... *L*

Testing...

Testing something out, trying to see if it will work, trying to add the comment option to this thing, not that I think there will be many people out there reading this to comment on it, but there might be one or two, so, ...

TESTING

Afterthoughts

Oh, got busy with a game and didn't finish my thoughts... My friend, Andrea and I spent like all day friday last week hanging out watching DVDs and browsing the bookstore. And then caught a movie, Alien vs Predator on Monday. The movie was kinda cool, fun and actiony and such. She started back to classes later that afternoon. She said we should make a point to hang out like once a week, I don't know if once a week will really happen, she tends to end up dead to the universe once the semester starts (she's in nursing school, so it's pretty intense, plus she works part time and her husband works full time, so she's a busy girl). But hopefully if we shoot for once a week, we'll at least manage to get to hanging out every couple weeks. I should see if her husband Marcus, can change a car battery (he's pretty good with that kind of tech, car stuff), cause I need a new one, and if he can change it, that would help me save a few bucks. My car battery died, cause I forgot to start it for the last few weeks, while it's been sitting at the curb. Just need a cheep battery cause we're gonna get rid of it soon anyway. The stick can be fun when you get to really drive it out on an open road, but it can just get annoying around the city, shifting all the time practically, plus, well, as I said in an earlier post, that illness, it was just one more thing. Driving the automatic was hard enough when I was sick, and the stick was just one more thing to deal with at that point... :p Oh well... live and learn I guess...

It's been a while...

Okay, so it has really been a while since the last time. Since, I've had all kinds of drama, mostly online, and now, still, my energy online has wained a bit. But I am having fun with the RPG boards a friend and I started a couple months ago, it's not as busy there as I'd like, but there are games playing, and are fun.

Got through finals in May, got A's in all my video classes and a B in my Psych class. Worked on a video project the week after and then took a short 3 week intersession class to finish my GE requirements. Got an A, it was a class on Hawai'i, and it was very cool. Totally didn't mind getting up at 7 am for that class, course it helped I didn't have to get up that early for more then 3 weeks.

Now summer is almost over, class starts in just under a week now. Been watching lots of Olympics, like constantly since they started, been fun. I love watching the Olympics, even events that otherwise I never pay any attention to, like rowing, are lots of fun to watch during the Olympic games.

Been trying to think about what kind of project, or projects I could do for my video class this coming semester. The focus of the class is going to be documentaries, as opposed to scripted, fiction directing, like last semester, so it'll be interesting, but means I need to come up with a documentary to do. I also need to get me a video camera, cause it was a headache having to worry if we were going to be able to check out a camera the week we needed it. This way I'll have one, 24/7.

Boys... Crazy

I think I'm just going crazy. Every now and then I don't know, it's like every guy I pass is cute. And thus I end up spending more time in class thinking how cute some of the guys are and it's much harder to focus on learning anything. It's really annoying. There are these really cute guys in my class, but there's absolutely nothing to be done about it.

Anyway... shifting gears, I spent much of last night going through old photographs that I'd taken over the past like 8 years, it was a little weird and surreal. But that may be good. I think for one of my projects for video class I will try mixing video footage with photographs worked in Photoshop with layers and made into a film piece.

Oh man, got another chat RPG soon, I SOO should have napped in between them, I'm so tired right now.

Venting

I'm feeling very ill at ease at a site that for a long time has been a favorite place of mine and a boards that felt very welcomeing to everyone. But the new ownership is homophobic and a conversation over one thread that appears to me to be relatively harmless, is really troubling me. Granted I'm living not too far from the city that's been marrying gays left and right... and this person is from Texas... two very different states of mind. But I don't want the gay members of the board to feel like they are being discriminated against or unwelcome. I'm bothered by this whole 'homophobic' vibe that seems to be racing through the country... Freakin' republicans...

I'm not gay myself, but I've had friends who were, and I also just don't feel that gays are really any different, other then they like people of the same gender. Big deal, I don't see where it's hurting anyone, or where it even really effects others. But I guess some think it's evil or contagious... generally it seems the religious... but I won't get started on my feelings on religion...

Anyway... just felt the need to vent a little...

Randomness

Wow, Okay so I've not been keeping up here at all... but guess I felt modavated to right now because at the moment... well, I'm feeling, I don't know, off, mentally... Kind of feeling the need for the therapy of writing and of photography. I finally loaded up my camera tonight, so that on Monday I don't even have to consider and time factor of having to get to school, cause I can just grab the camera bag with my backpack.

Planning to sell my car too, get another automatic so that I'm not the only one in the house capable of driving it... plus well, I got sick a few weeks ago and it was hard enough trying to drive an automatic in that state, so, I decided to let it go... I may not have had it not seemed my mom kind of thought having two cars everyone could drive was a possibly better idea... so, at least now I know how to drive a stick in a pinch. So if I ever find myself out with my friends and the driver ends up having a drink, I can drive even if it's a stick... cause well, it's not like I'll be drinking, since I'm not a drinker. Not cause it's like 'bad' for you or anything, just cause I never could manage to aquire a taste for alcohol, it's just not tasty. I'd rather drink something that makes my taste buds happy.

I'm about a month or so into another semester at school, taking a full 12 units this time too. Mostly video/film production classes. It's fun, but mentally consuming, and somewhat time consuming as well. There are some guys who well, kinda cool and cute in the classes, particularly the late Friday class... not that it really has any meaning of any kind, just a random note... something I've noticed... doesn't really mean shit though, since well... I'm me and that's how my life is... and I don't see it changing any time soon, cause I'm just too fucking neruotic... But anyway... I'm wanting to buy a video camera soon... I really want to play around with one and really see what I can do with it... see if I can discover anything by just taking it out... like with my normal camera.

Really, gotta try and pay better attention to this blog. It's not like I'm not online often enough to update regularly... I practically live online... cause I have no life outside it other then classes... :p