Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Realization of Fucking Reality

You ever have a moment where you just realize that you were right all along about the fucking sad reality of your life, and that it's just how it's gonna be... how it was fucking ment to be. Well, I was clearly someone who was never ment for love or relationships, or feeling close to people. Maybe it's just not even in my nature, my personality. Maybe it's only something I think I want in the most desperate of moments. What the fuck do I even want or need with a guy. What the hell would I even do with one? I have no fucking idea, therefore I shouldn't have any use for one right? Good, let's keep that in mind...

I really am starting to believe (maybe again) that I'm just not meant to have any of that shit... friendship, romance, sex, love, human contact, etc... I'm just not supposed to have any of it... I'm not supposed to need it, so I really should stop thinking that I want any of it... I don't... repeat that... I don't want any of that shit! Yeah, we'll see if I can make myself believe that shit... who knows, it's possible, I've made myself believe crazier, more fucked up shit then that before...

No comments: